


My First Best Friend

by treacherousdoctors



Category: Heartstopper (Webcomic), Solitaire - Alice Oseman
Genre: Apologies, Fluff, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26018083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treacherousdoctors/pseuds/treacherousdoctors
Summary: Charlie doesn't like feeling alone at night. Luckily for him, his best friend is right down the hall.{content warning: references to hospitals and eating disorders}
Relationships: Charles "Charlie" Spring & Victoria "Tori" Spring
Comments: 9
Kudos: 47





	My First Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a quick lil thing bc i've been thinking abt charlie and his relationship with his family and i wanted some soft charlie & tori interaction,,,
> 
> this is set post-heartstopper (as of 20/08/20), but pre-solitaire

I’ve been home from Nick’s four hours now, but I still haven’t yet settled into being alone. In the two weeks since I got out of the hospital, I’ve spent a grand total of about 30 minutes on my own - whenever we’re not in classes, Nick is with me. During school, I have Aled and Tao. At home, my parents watch over me like a hawk every waking minute. Today is the first time they’ve trusted me to look after myself, but part of me wishes they hadn’t. Not because I think I’ll  _ do  _ anything, but because I’m just really not a fan of my own company these days.

I ate tea with Nick and his mum, which was nice. Nick is used to eating with me, but I’d been shitting myself about inconveniencing Mrs Nelson. I’m not sure if Nick spoke to her about me, or if she’s just naturally wonderful, but the meal was surprisingly relaxed - she didn’t seem to mind how long it took me to clear my plate, didn’t look at me like I was a basket case. Honestly, the Nelsons’ house is where I feel most safe recently. The only other person that treats me so  _ normally  _ is Oliver, and that’s only because he’s too young to really understand what’s going on.

But all good things must come to an end. It’s a Sunday night, with school tomorrow, and my parents have had to put their foot down about Nick sleeping over every night. They don’t have a _problem_ with sleepovers on a school night, but they think it’s happening too often. They’re probably right, but that doesn’t make it any easier to be in an empty bed for the first time in weeks. There’s so much space now, usually filled with Nick’s warm and comforting figure. I got used to never having to look more than a few inches in front of my face to see his smile. It sounds ridiculous to say I miss him so soon, but I  _ do _ . I miss him so much it breaks my heart.

It’s 1 am. I’ve gone back and forth with the idea of FaceTiming him, but I don’t want to cost him some valuable sleep. I don’t want to be that kind of a burden.

There’s someone I know won’t be asleep, though. She’s worse for sleeping than I am (though her exhaustion owes as much to Tumblr as it does insomnia). I shrug a blanket over my shoulders and traipse softly to Tori’s room.

I open the door a crack and, sure enough, she's aimlessly scrolling on her laptop. When she sees me she smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. It hasn’t for a while. I know that I’m to blame in a lot of ways.

“Can I come in?” My voice is smaller than I expected.

Without a word, she puts her laptop on the floor and rolls back the covers for me to crawl under.

I’m so much taller than her as of late. I never quite realised it happening (we’re only a year apart in age, and so she was always an inch or two taller until fairly recently). My feet dangle off the end of her single bed, and it feels almost comical as she pulls me into a close hug.

I think my sister is one of the best people in the world. She disputes it a lot, but she is. She’s incredible. She’s been by my side since the day I was born and I think I’ll always love her more than anybody else. Not everyone is close to their siblings, but I am. Victoria Spring was my first best friend. She speaks so highly of me and so lowly of herself, but I honestly think we both owe our individual goodness to each other. Having a brilliant older sister made me a better person, though I don’t know if she quite believes me when I tell her as such. 

“Are you okay?”   
“Mm-hmm. Just lonely.”   
“No Nick tonight?”   
I shrug (which is strange to do whilst lying down). “He’s said he’s a phone call away, but… I don’t know. I don’t wanna be a burden.”   
“You’re not a burden.”   
“Agree to disagree.”   
“Nope. You’re not a burden. I won’t take criticism.”

I just roll my eyes and cuddle closer. Tori has never been big on hugs, but she lets it happen. I’m the exception to a lot of her rules - the only one who can hug her, the only one who can call her Victoria.

I try not to think about how long it’s been since she held me like this. It hasn’t been since long before I went into hospital, since before I got bad. I don’t want to imagine what it’s like for her. It must feel different these days when I’m so much  _ smaller.  _ I hadn’t noticed it at first, but it’s all I can see now. I’ve wasted away a little bit. I can’t even think how strange it must be for her to hug me, just like she has for years and years, but to feel a different figure in her arms.

I try to pull away, but she drags me back in without a word. I will my heart to beat slower and settle into the hug.

“I’m sorry, Victoria.”   
“Don’t ap — ” She goes to stop me, but reconsiders. “It’s okay.”

I don’t know how to express how much I appreciate that. Everyone’s always telling me I don’t need to say sorry so much, but I  _ do _ . To Tori most of all. It’s nice for someone to accept one of my apologies instead of just brushing it off. And maybe she’s lying - maybe it  _ isn’t  _ okay, maybe it never will be. But she knows I’m sorry. She’s let me say it. That’s the first step.

“Choose some music. You have better taste than me.” She whispers, handing over her phone.

I scroll in silence for a few minutes, before landing on an album that Dad used to play in the car during long drives when we were kids. Tori’s eyes widen at the opening of the first song, and for the first time in weeks, her smile seems to reach her eyes.

She rolls over onto her back, one arm still around my waist.

“We should get some sleep. You should stay here tonight, though. If you want.”   
“I want.”

The music keeps playing as we settle down. I lose sense of my insecurities, comforted by Tori’s presence. It feels like too long since we’ve been this close, and it’s something I never want us to grow out of.

I sleep well all night. When dad comes in to wake Tori for school, he seems surprised to see us both in her bed. She sits up, hair mussed up, and with an imprint of my blanket pressed into her arm. She blinks, with sleep-addled confusion marring her expression.

“Hm.”   
“What?” I ask through a yawn.   
“Best I’ve slept in months.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope this was alright ! if u ever want to talk to me/request something/see my constant stream of osemanverse ramblings, my tumblr is @charliespringverse :^)


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